After a year out, Worthy Farm came back with a bang for 2019. Glasto’s 4 days of festivities provided a lot of talking points for the mainstream media to nibble on, but long gone are the days when the weekender would get obliterated by the Daily Mail for a few hippies tripping balls in the fields of avalon, or the locals lynching the Eavis family for a bit of noise pollution.
Numerous artists advocated ‘Fuck Boris’ chants over the weekend. Stormzy and Slowthai got thousands roaring words of disgust at the potential Prime Minister, and Loyle Carner sported a T-Shirt with the statement too. However, in typical Boris fashion, the Politician joked that he thought Big Mike was actually screaming ‘Back Boris’ in his headline performance. As much as we hate him, you have to admire the Blonde haired bafoon’s ability to take the piss out of himself.
Loyle Carner moshing to Slowthai
Unsurprisingly, Slowthai’s set was one of the more controversial over the weekend; the performance was as visceral as his music, and Loyle Carner’s entrance into the moshes took everyone by surprise… even him. For Doorman, Tyron Frampton (Slowthai) ordered Carner, and his friend Duckman, to conduct the circular motion of running revellers and of course, real name, Ben Coyle-Larner got absolutely mobbed. He just about survived the antics though, and pulled off one of the weekend’s best sets.
Fredo on the pyramid stage
From drug lord, to Pyramid stage parader; it is fair to say that Fredo has come along way since his days in the trap. Casually rolling on for ‘Funky Friday’ with Dave, It looked like the Londoner had absolutely no idea what he was in for. The natural gloat he possesses is really admirable though; the road rapper walked on with a calmness comparable to Liam Gallagher in his hay day. Little did the middle class parental audience realise though, that Fredo was spitting about getting his girl to hold his ‘dipper’, knife, and his youngens ‘plugging a z’ out in the country, not all heroes wear capes. If you haven't already, you can watch Stormzy's full set here.
David Attenborough talks plastic
If this man isn’t the face of the new £20 note, I think a riot is necessary. Only David Attenborough could attract tens of thousands of people to listen to 5 whole minutes of sea animals wailing on the Pyramid Stage, especially with so many other festivities occurring at the same time. It is beyond me that this man is 93, if I look that good at his age (considering I even live that long) then I’ll be chuffed. His tireless advocation for the protection of our planet is synonymous with Glasto’s ethos. Fuck plastic, save the Turtles.
Roy Ares on the Xylophone
It is incredible that Roy Ayers is still performing at 78 years of age. Described as the godfather of neo-soul, the musician rocked a velvet Egyptian turban and a black suit in the scorching summer sun, although he never once looked like breaking into a sweat over the 60 minute set. Yes he had to take a breather and sit on his stool a few times, and the whole hour did feel like one long xylophone solo, but you cannot possibly fault the Californian’s coolness and ability to mesmerise.
Alex acing Thiago Silva
This boy had balls to get on stage and rap the whole of AJ’s Thiago Silva verse. Before he started spitting, I was full of nerves for the lad, cringing deeply into a pillow, and singing my prayers that he did genuinely know the lyrics. Low and behold though, he confidently serenaded thousands of Dave fans with his beautifully imperfect vocals, and (practically) word for word rendition of Thiago Silva. Many MC’s dream of a wheel up. Alex received two for his appearance, and he probably deserved more. He’s become a bit of an internet sensation since, and unintentionally propelled Britain’s rap scene to new heights. He should allow the Boohoo adverts though, they really milking it.
‘Who’s this Capaldi fella?’
We aren’t the biggest Lewis Capaldi fans, but his entrance to this year’s Glastonbury was the best of the weekend. It’s premises was a video of Noel Gallagher slagging off the state of music (classic Noel), and eventually concluding ‘Who’s this Capaldi fella?’. The Scotsman ingeniously reworked the snippet with photos of himself holding up chart awards; he eventually came out sporting a bucket hat and parka, mimicking Noel’s brother Liam. Making the story even more special, Lewis and Liam grabbed a photo with each other at the festival, rubbing salt into Noel’s wounds.
Brian from my parents are Aliens vibing out to King Princess
A video circulated on Twitter of what appeared to be the Dad from millennial children’s show ‘My Parents Are Aliens’, if you have no idea what I’m on about, did you really have a childhood? We all remember Brian for his ability to morph into other people, but at Glasto his Alien powers allowed him to pull off a pink Leopard print shirt, whilst performing some questionable dance moves to ‘Talia’ by the Brooklyn artist. What a hero.