‘Bit chilly today isn’t it mate’?, ‘Corrr! I’m sweltering in this heat Dave, aren’t you? Whatever the weather, it never seems quite right for us Britonians. As I write this, we are experiencing the hottest day of the year, half of the population are melting into their magnums and sacrificing heat stroke for a ‘tan’, which really makes them look like a raw lobster. But it’s okay, ‘sunburn turns into tan’... apparently. As we get further and further towards the sun, and closer to killing our own planet, we at Repeat thought we’d give you some tips to help you deal with the heat in an affordable way.
• WEAR YOUR MUM'S SUNGLASSES
Don’t even deny it, your mum’s sunglasses are wavier than yours. Blinged up frames, rainbow-tinted and huge lenses; not only will they protect your eyes, but you will be turning heads by the second with these bad boys on. You reckon your overpriced basic Urban Outfitter shades will help you to survive? Well think again, you will have more UV going into your eyes than David Hasselhoff under a sunbed.
• EAT SOLEROS
If you are running low on funds, and don’t have enough money to cook up a dinner, then look no further than a Solero. Scientifically proven to have as many calories as a roast dinner, and of course being 3 of your five a day, it bewilders me to why Wall’s are yet to use this as a marketing strategy. A succulent, citrusy and nutritious flavour, as well as being unbelievably hydrating, a multipack of these (which you can find at any decent supermarket for £2) will go a long way.
• HAVE A RIDE ON A SLIP AND SLIDE
Remember these? Once a well-known cause of kid’s broken bones, Slip and Slides are actually the best way to cool down after a hard day on the sesh. Sweat out all the stress of using up your last nossie and feel like Will from the Inbetweeners when he was sliding smoothly across that dance floor at the caravan club. Seriously though, this will help you to freshen up.
• GET YOURSELF TO BOOMTOWN
You are probably thinking by now, who on earth is writing this? How will a weekend of getting muntered at a festival save me from the heat? To which I reply, getting catastrophically crocked in a field with your mates will make you forget the sun even exists. A warm Stella, some factor 50 suncream (for all you pastey people out there) and scatty drum and bass will keep the adrenaline pumping. It’s a well-known fact that D’n’B counters UV rays so if you weren’t lucky to get a boomtown ticket then a speaker, strobe lights and decent playlist should do the trick.
• DON'T DISCOUNT A PICNIC BLANKET
I know what you're thinking: 'picnic blankets are for 40-year-old women'. Well, that's where you're wrong my son. A picnic blanket is the ultimate secret weapon for sizzling weather. Not only can it save your embarrassingly overpriced Depop shorts from getting covered in fermenting red bull, radioactive vomit and broken glass (if your local village green is anything like mine), but it also functions as a tent, a sleeping bag and if you're daring enough, a very unique garm in the form of a wavy reflective cape. Above all this, it will also provide a temporary bit of shelter when the rainstorms inevitably return to wreak fully moist havoc on old England's bleached countryside.
You would be a fool not take on these top tips, and essential heat wave protection items. Stay safe out there and enjoy the weather, it will probably snow next week.